I have been diagnosed with dementia and am taking Memantine (sp?)

[CTyankee]

I am trying to cope. It's difficult right now since my husband is recovering from a fractured foot and is laid up with a big cast at our retirement community"s rehab center.

We are in the best place for these calamities. We sold our house and moved to Masonicare in Wallingford, CT 4 months ago. We took advantage of a real estate situation that hugely increased our house's value. I was starting to have symptoms of dementia and my husband has had spinal stenosis and uses a walker to get around. That's when we figured we'd be better off in a place that helped us with our two disabilities.

I couldn't be happier with this decision. I was very pleasantly surprised that the food was so excellent. Bravo to the chef. Cooking had become a huge chore as I have lower back arthritis. Masonicare has a wonderful workout/exercise area and special programs for people who need physical therapy (just about everybody here!). They have a shuttle for people who need therapy/treatment at a local facility of Yale New Haven Hospital.

My daughter is in charge of paying our bills and has Power of Attorney for me which luckily gotten just a few months earlier. It saves us time, effort and worry. I would recommend it to anyone in a situation such as ours.

[Scrivener7]

1. It sounds like a great place. And I'm glad you have medication for the dementia. That's a tough diagnosis.

[snowybirdie]

2. Good luck

Hubby takes this same medication and it's helped somewhat. Sounds like you have planned well.

[CTyankee]

3. I would urge every senior to get some plan together for the possibility of this happening.

But not everyone has the financial advantage we did, in the first place. However, in CT there are good resources for low income people who need the services we get here. I am so GLAD we live in a progressive state that actually takes care of people without financial resources (which we are fortunate to have ourselves).

[Scrivener7]

46. You're not VERY close to me, but within a couple of hours. Your place sounds great. Adding it to the list of possibles

for when the time comes.

[slightlv]

13. Is this med for fronto temporal

Dementia. Or for Alzheimers? It seems like there are so many kinds of dementia... and im headed into that with my husband. Wanted to get an MRI brain scan, but MA wants 450$ copay. It's hard coming up with that kind of money right now.

[snowybirdie]

17. Mine takes

It for Alzheimer's. Don't know if other forms of dementia can benefit

[CTyankee]

22. Not sure. What's the difference?

[soldierant]

40. You can do a quick search on it. The spelling in the OP is correct.

And, yes, it is for Alzheimer's. It appears to address agitation. I didn't spend a lot of time on it, but I did notice a string of counter-indications.

[area51]

4. I'm sorry to hear about the diagnosis.

[gademocrat7]

5. Take care, CTyankee

Glad you are in a good living environment.

[OldBaldy1701E]

6. I am sorry to hear about this, and I am glad that you have found a place to aid you with it all. (n/t)

[LoisB]

7. It sounds as if you and your husband made really good decisions. I hate to hear your

diagnosis and hope you are ok for a good long time. Positive thoughts for you and your husband.

[appalachiablue]

8. All the best to you. The place sounds good for you both esp with the help of your daughter. TC

[BaronChocula]

9. Comforting to know you have things in place

My parents were very orderly with their "golden year" arrangements. My father used to say "your inheritance is not having to wipe our asses when we're incapacitated."

I know I have some slight memory/recall issues and I'm not sure what form they'll take as they progress. One day at a time.

[PuraVidaDreamin]

10. Stay active CT!

I picked up a part--time nsg gig at an Adult Day Health Center in very rural VT.
It is such a life-line for so many unfortunate souls who everyday humble me with
their resilience.

Yes, be grateful. As a nurse and certified yoga therapist I will attest to how
important it is that you stay active, chair yoga (the slower you move with intention the better)
Lift some light weights, but do it slowly, again, with intention,the contraction phase
but especially the eccentric phase.
Do puzzles, or your art, walk, smell the freaking EVERYTHING! Identify it, Notice how it
make you feel in that present moment and then giggle, sigh, frown even
and then keep moving through each present moment!

[brer cat]

11. That is a tough diagnosis, but you had fortunately planned

well and are settled in your new home with the help you need. Best wishes for your treatment and your husband's recovery.

[edhopper]

12. I will keep you in my thoughts CYT

and hope you stay well and happy.

[CTyankee]

50. Oh, Ed, it's so nice to hear from you! We are oldtimers here!

[edhopper]

54. Yes

We are.

[Omaha Steve]

14. I was diagnoised with FTD (a dementia) over 10 years ago

I'm still doing pretty good. I'm on trazodone for mine.

[AZ8theist]

15. Best wishes. Sounds like you made a wise decision.

But as I approach 70, this sort of thing is in mine and my wife's future.

I still live by the Who:

"Hope I die before I get old "

[AllaN01Bear]

16. """

[Joinfortmill]

18. I am happy to hear you are in a safe place. Best of luck to you both.

[orleans]

19. wow--sounds like a whirlwind the past four months (probably longer than that -- moving is a big deal)

(and exhausting) and then with all the other life issues.

i'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis. also your husband's fracture. a lot to deal with.

i'm glad you are happy with your new surroundings, and adjusting/adapting to them.

and, just as a friendly reminder, don't forget to change your address with the election board or the county so you can vote this fall.
if you haven't done it yet, put it on a to-do list. if you've already done it then WOW! that's great!

keep taking good care

[CTyankee]

24. One of the first things we did! Hubby was insistent on that!

[orleans]

27. LOL! PERFECT!! (and good for him!)

[Dyedinthewoolliberal]

20. Good luck to you.

I hope it never advances past where it is now.

[CTyankee]

26. I hope so, too!

[mountain grammy]

21. All the best CT

It's often I wish I had never left CT... my mom and sister stayed till they died, and oh how I miss them and visiting CT.

Sounds like you've made good decisions considering.. hoping for a full recovery for your husband and your coping skills last as long as you need them..

[debm55]

23. Hugs to you both, CTyankee,

[Clouds Passing]

25. ....

[hamsterjill]

28. I sure didn't want to read this post, but I wish you all the very best.

Sounds like you are being very practical, which I admire greatly. You are SO correct in that everyone (even younger people) need to have some sort of plan in place because tomorrow is promised to no one.

That said - I wish you both happiness and contentment in your lives. May the time be filled with things that bring you joy, enrichment and love! Something we should all strive for.

Peace and comfort to you and hubby.

[CTyankee]

41. One thing I want to do is let folks hear know about my new book: The Gladdened Heart: the ART of Music

which I am giving away to folks who would like to read it and is being privately published.

The book discusses how artists have painted (and sculpted) what cannot be seen: MUSIC

The longest essay deals with Degas' ballet dancers series. The girls (and some boys) dancing were often quite young and poor and were exploited sexually by rich men who paid to have access to them. They are there in Degas' series, seen watching the girls dance, in the wings of the stage. Most of these paintings can be seen at the Musee d'Orsay in Paris but there are some in the Metropolitan Museum in NY.

PM me if you'd like a copy of my book.

[wendyb-NC]

29. Sorry to hear that, CTyankee

It sounds like you have prepared well. Best wishes, always. Sending hope and hugs.

[applegrove]

30. Glad you are being well taken care of. So sorry for the diagnosis.

[Faux pas]

31. Best of luck

to you and your hubby CTyankee

[Solly Mack]

32. I'm sorry to hear that.

To both of you.

[some_of_us_are_sane]

33. You've described your circumstances

so rationally and upbeat and I admire you tremendously, CTyankee! All good thoughts from here and thank you from many of us who either are, or who may be or at some time hence, in the same situation. You are MUCH loved in DU!

[Aussie105]

34. Caring for a wife with dementia myself.

An exhausting job. But I'm coping.

She doesn't want to go see a doctor for an official diagnosis, because she fears she will get 'locked up' and be forced to leave her home of over 60 years.

One of the problems of modern medicine - people live longer, but the mental decay that comes to us all at old age is still an unresolved problem.

Sympathies to all who are in the same situation, carers or sufferers.

[TBF]

35. I am so glad you were able to make those decisions -

you and your husband are together (at least in the same community - hopefully he heals up fast!) and I know your daughter will do her best to keep on top of everything. Thank you for checking in w/us and letting us know you are ok!

[3catwoman3]

36. Your planning was such a wise decision, and it sounds as if you have...

...the strength and courage to deal honestly with unwelcome changes. And how reassuring to hear that you have found a place where you feel safe and content.

[1WorldHope]

37. I am so happy to hear that you feel that way and that you found a really good place.

[electric_blue68]

38. Oh dear! At least you're both in a good place

And hopefully some good medical advances that will help sooner than later.

[summer_in_TX]

39. Your wisdom and practicality in dealing with these challenges is an example to me

and others. I'm so glad to hear you are in such a good place – and that the food is good is a huge plus. Having your daughter take that load off is great.

Best wishes for the medication to slow the advancement of the condition to a standstill. And blessings for you and your husband.

[malaise]

42. Fight sis fight

[Bumbles]

43. You and your husband are inspiring.

Life is full of bumps and potholes. You two are managing them well. May it continue to be so.

[peacebuzzard]

44. glad you are doing well, safe, and with everything in place.

I always look for your posts to hear about the updates since you moved from your home to a retirement community; seems like years ++++ago...
keep us updated; you have some fans here...
May you have a great peaceful week ahead CTyankee!

And also about the meds for your diagnosis dementia is that a a recent diagnosis? I am glad there are medications indicated.
All my best wishes for you CTyankee; I am so glad there is a treatment available.

[highplainsdem]

45. I'm so sorry to hear about your diagnosis, CTyankee, but it sounds like you're on a good med (I googled

it, since I hadn't heard of it before). And with so much research being done, there's a good chance of even better meds and treatments soon.

The retirement community you and your husband are in sounds ideal. You made a wise decision moving there.

And giving your daughter Power of Attorney was also a wise decision. I'm guessing she has medical POA as well, as I did with my mom.

Hugs, healing vibes and prayers for both you and your husband.

[NNadir]

47. Best wishes, although I will say your writing shows no sign of dementia, certainly nowhere near the orange pedophile's.

I'm glad you have family support.

Good luck.

[Phentex]

48. thank you for sharing with us

I am glad you are where you need to be and have help from your daughter. I send all my best lounge vibes and good wishes to you!

[FakeNoose]

49. It sounds like you are in very good hands

You've made a good decision to sell your house at the right time. I'm sure it was difficult, but now you and your husband have downsized and the hardest part is over. Also you have a good doctor who is giving you awesome advice. Be sure to follow it always. It's lucky and wonderful that your daughter is able to help by taking over the financial duties.

Remember that dementia doesn't have to be a death sentence, there are many things that can slow it down. Maintaining your health and positive outlook can make a big difference in the outcome. In my own family a few of my siblings have been diagnosed with FTD (dementia) because of genetic inheritance through our mother. In the last 20 years or so we've learned a few things: Try to enjoy your time together with hubby, and with family and friends. Best of luck to you both!

[CrispyQ]

51. I'm sorry to hear of your diagnosis & troubles, but glad you have a good network of support.

[Doodley]

52. Sorry about the diagnosis, but you could go many years and still be okay, as has been mentioned, so

now is a good time to relax, keep active, and enjoy retirement without the cooking!

[underpants]

53. My in-laws made the same move after living in their dream home

for 15 years. A house they built next to their existing house over years and years. From fill to code to tweaking designs as much as they code get around code.

It was a great decision. The facility is part of a hospital system and right next to it. My BIL and his wife don’t think it’s good enough so they do the transporting to another facility 30-45 minutes away. This is hours from us so we really can’t be a part of it.

It’s much better than having one person home alone and another way away in the hospital. The food was much better when they first moved in but there is a great sense of community. All with in walking distance.

During COVID my FIL could walk over and see her through the window of her first floor room. The assisted living/rehab rearranged things to create as many first floor COVID rooms as possible. My FIL passed on November 5th 2024. That was a bad bad day.

I’m glad you are more at ease.

[Bayard]

55. Sorry to hear this CTY,

But it does sound like you are well prepared. I wish my parents had done the same....

Wishing you the best.