Florida (obviously) Man in action at a Target

[47of74]

Ewwwwww

A Florida Man yesterday sexually assaulted a pair of “large stuffed animal toys” inside a Target store, according to police who arrested the fiend on a criminal mischief charge.

As detailed in a criminal complaint, Cody Christopher Meader, 20, entered the retailer around 2 PM Tuesday and approached a display of merchandise featuring characters from the Disney film “Frozen.”

Meader, seen at right, selected a “large Olaf stuffed animal” and proceeded to place it on the floor of the Target in Pinellas Park. He then began to “dry hump” the cinematic snowman “until he ejaculated on the merchandise,” a cop reported.

Meader returned the soiled Olaf back to the display before entering the toy department, where he “selected a large unicorn stuffed animal and began to ‘dry hump’ this item.”

[dewsgirl]

2. Good Lord Florida, get your self together.

[rurallib]

3. but to be fair, Olaf was dressed seductively

[Bayard]

4. Gag!

What kind of warped childhood did this guy have?

[CaptYossarian]

5. Years later, he still can't find "Tickle Me Elmo".

[Kaleva]

6. The perp's guardian angel can probably tell quite a few stories about his charge.